Grace Changes Everything

Well hey there friends, it's been awhile since I've taken time to write here. Life has been busy and full in some of the best ways and in also some hard ways as I unpack things with my therapist. I've had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things but no mental or emotional capacity to write until now. And even as I write this my heart is wrestling, but I see the Lord beginning to work it all out, so I'm not stuck there. Writing helps me process and so here are on a chilly Saturday night, curled up in a fuzzy blanket to share my thoughts with ya'll. So grab a blanket, your drink/treat of choice and settle in, if you want of course ;).

Grace changes everything. This is something that I whole-heartedly believe but recently, I feel like God has been challenging me to think about why that is. What has grace changed for me so much, that it propels me to whole-heartedly believe that grace really does change everything? And why do I simultaneously fear that the graces I've received will suddenly run out and I'll be left alone to flounder in this cold world, fighting my way to some sort of success that determines my worth and value?

Wow that sounds weightier typed out on this page than it did in my head, lol. Oh well, we sometimes go deep here on This Wild Life, no going back now. Here is what comes to mind initially as I think about my answers to those questions:

1. Grace is often different than how the world operates, and yet it's exactly what we crave.

2. If it weren't for grace, I wouldn't be where I am right now. If it weren't for grace, there would be no desire for change for the better.

3. Though grace is given, there are still consequences and a need for accountability for our actions.

4. I fear losing grace because of the frailty of human love.

5. Giving myself grace is the hardest of all.

Though this is maybe a bigger topic than can be covered in one blog post, let me try to unpack what I mean by these four statements.

When I say grace is often different than how the world operates, and yet it's exactly what we crave, I mean this: we all want to hear "me too" --- I want to hear "I'm imperfect too." I don't really want to hear the five steps on how I can fix myself or the situation I'm in. I want to experience compassion for my imperfection, I want my feelings to be heard, received and given grace. When I am given grace, it puts me in a place of gratitude, and when I am in a place of gratitude, I want to change for the better. I want to love better, I want to be more intentional and thoughtful in my actions, and how I live my life.

Giving and receiving grace doesn't mean there aren't consequences for our actions or a need for accountability. Consequences, often natural ones, have to be lived out, it is part of how we learn and grow, it helps foster change. In receiving grace, it requires us taking ownership (though painful at times) of our shortcomings, holding us accountable to change. When consequences are lived out through the lens of grace, we can rest knowing that we aren't being condemned and can take it as an opportunity to make things right.

I fear losing grace because, well frankly, humans (thank you sin nature) kind of suck at extending grace to others. It's either out of obligation not compassion or comes with some sort of condition, which isn't really grace. I saw this quote earlier this week by C.S. Lewis that says: "God allows us to experience the frailty of human love, in order to show the strength of His."

I can't stop thinking about that. I have seen that to be true time and time again in my life. The love we experience from people in our lives, even those closest to us shift and change. It's an imperfect love, often driven by selfish motives or seeking for certain needs to be met. If those needs aren't met, the love can be cut off or can become a manipulative situation. Even in the healthiest relationships there is selfishness, conditions and unmet expectations mixed in. I've seen this in how others have loved me and in how I have loved others.

And every single time, I'm reminded in stark contrast of how God's love is unchanging and steady.

Giving myself grace is the hardest of all, because I tend to attribute my worth and value to how well I love others. I put all this responsibility on myself to always have the perfect response, to always be there for my family and friends etc. but the moment I don't have the perfect response, or I am not able to be there for others in the way they need, I'm often inclined to beat myself up for it, hanging my own mistakes and "shoulda coulda woulda" over my head. Something I often have to tell myself is that I'm not the one holding everyone up and I am not big enough to thwart God's plans for them. Amen, amen.

As I unload all of this here, my heart is comforted by these truths and promises God gives us in the Bible:

His grace is sufficient for me. "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

He redeems my life from the pit, crowning me with love and compassion. "Praise the Lord, my soul; my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's." Psalm 103:1-5

In Christ, I have been set free and there is no condemnation for me. "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1-4

In Christ there is nothing that can separate me from God's love. "No, in all of these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

In Jesus, I have redemption and forgiveness and it is freely given to me. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory." Ephesians 1:3-14

It is by grace that I am saved, not my works. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10

The only reason I can love is because God loved me first.  "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." 1 John 4:10-16

That is all for tonight, I'm soaking in these precious words of Scripture as I get ready for bed. I'll let the Scripture speak for itself in your own hearts, I don't have the energy to expand more. Thanks for letting me unload the weight of thought here in this space. I hope you too my friend can be comforted and pray that you are able to experience and identify God's grace in your life this upcoming week.

Grace and love to you until next time,

Melissa