On The Other Side of Obedience

Nothing fully prepares you for fully surrendering something to God. Surrender is something, that is a lived experience. It's more than just saying "Lord, I give this to You," because, well if you're like me, we pick it right back up. Surrender is truly a place where you look at all the pieces, realize you've got nothing and you say, "Okay, Lord, I have nothing, You have to show up here." The beautiful thing is, that when we pray that way, He really does show up.

He delights in showing up for us. This is a truth that is slowly settling into my soul as I learn what it means to have a Father/Daughter relationship with Him. Growing up in church, I am not unfamiliar with talk of God being our Heavenly Father. Somewhere along the way though, I subconsciously started to believe that, that truth was only for people who didn't grow up with a dad. I have never fully understood what it means, that God calls me His beloved daughter. My head knowledge of God the Father, hasn't really translated to my heart knowledge until recently, as I've made some big life changes.

Sometimes we have to walk it out before the truth really sets in. There also has to be space in our hearts and minds for the truth to really take root. In order to make space, we have to uproot those things that are not true or wounds that have shaped us to believe lies of the enemy, about who we are and who God is. Uprooting those takes real work and is not a linear process, but little by little, we make space for the truth of who God is and who He made us to be to take root, bringing us into a deeper freedom. Slowly, you start to see the beautiful pieces of you that have always been from the Lord, despite being twisted or stomped on by the world or life circumstances. Psalm 139 starts to have new meaning as you continue to discover how those pieces fit together, as He intended.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was bring made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139

Lord, thank you for showing me parts of me that You made, uncovering them from the messes of life and redeeming, renewing what has always been from You. Amen