Chatty Cashiers and Spiritual Formation

I did my weekly shopping this week on Friday night because my weekend is filled to the brim with friends, therapy, babysitting, church, hosting a bridal shower and somewhere in there laundry and meal prep and exercise (and writing this weeks post ;) ). Needless to say, I was not thrilled to shop on a Friday night after work but I didn’t really have a choice and on top of that, I needed to get some more pants that I can wear to work because I have worn through most of my work pants. I was tired, hungry, not in a place to really shop for clothes and typically would go to self check out to avoid any kind of small talk in such a state. However, a pair of pants that I picked out had the security thingy on it and I would have had to ask for help anyway, so I decided to go through the regular check out. The cashier I got was a young lady around the age of 18, and usually the young cashiers don’t say much, (maybe) a “how are you” and for sure a “paper or plastic?” and a “the total is…”

This time, I did get a “How are you and did you find everything okay?” and then the floodgates opened and she just started telling me about her day. And not just that she almost was asking me for advice about her life situation. I didn’t have much to offer except to listen and sympathize. The whole interaction took me by surprise but also convicted me a little bit because 98% of the time I do choose to go to the self check out because I don’t want to endure the cashier/customer interaction, I just want to get in and get out. Though I wasn’t able to offer any advice, the girl clearly needed someone to just listen and for some reason she chose me that night. We do life at such a fast pace sometimes we miss opportunities to be present with the people around us, even if it’s a brief moment in the check out lane. So I decided I’m going to challenge myself to go through the regular check out lane more often, simply to get out of my own world and engage with those around me.

The rest of the week was pretty average, I did have an almost crisis Wednesday morning. I went to the gym in the morning and sometimes I go get a fun Herbalife tea drink from a local little shop afterward. I wasn’t going to go that morning but randomly decided to get a tea for a little pep in my step before work because I hadn’t slept well and I was tired and a bit emotional. It was a day where I just wanted to lay in bed and cry all day, I haven’t had one of those days in a while and I’m not sure what brought it on. But as I pulled up the tea and shake place, I put my car into park and began to take the keys out, and they wouldn’t come out. They were literally stuck, I could start my car, but I couldn’t turn the key back and remove the keys. Mind you, I was already close tears that morning and so the thought that it might be my ignition switch gone bad was not helping (I had this happen in my previous car). I quickly prayed “Lord, I can’t handle another car issue” and then went in to get my tea and protein balls, hoping there would suddenly be a solution when I got back. The owner took my order and asked me how my morning was and with tears almost forming in my eyes I said “Well my keys won’t come out of my ignition, so there’s that.” And she was like “Do you want me to try?” And I said “Sure.” We went out to my car she climbed into the front seat and I stood next to her and she tried a couple times without success. As panic started to rise in my body, I glanced down at the shifter and saw that the earbud on my headphones was blocking it from being fully in park and that’s why my keys wouldn’t disengage from the ignition. “Praise God!” I exclaimed and breathed a sigh of relief as my spirit lifted because God met a direct need right there, even though I didn’t even pray for an answer, I just told Him I couldn’t handle another car issue. Yet, He heard my inward groan and answered a prayer I hadn’t uttered.

Good or bad, I kind of always operate in “what can I glean from this experience/what is the deeper meaning” LOL. And so a couple of takeaways from Wednesday morning:

1) God created us to need each other. If it hadn’t been for my friend at the tea shop trying, I wouldn’t have seen that my headphones were stuck. Sometimes we need friends to come in and offer a different perspective, and that’s the beauty of having those close people in our lives who can call out different things in our life, that help us grow and weed out the things that need to be weeded out.

2) Just like my car wouldn’t turn off until it was fully in park for safety, because God sees the whole picture of my life, He protects me by setting safe guards in my life (boundaries and closed doors) as I seek His leading. Though I may not always like the boundary or closed door, knowing that it’s for my protection and good, I am comforted and it helps me rest secure in Him (Psalm 16).

Along these lines I have still been listening to the book Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer and this week I was struck by something he was talking about. He said “Spirtual formation is not a Christian thing, it’s a human thing. It starts in the womb” (okay so that’s a paraphrase but basically idea). It struck me because in one of my first therapy sessions, my therapist was explaining the limbic system and how we start processing things as early as in the womb. That just blows my mind, and it also makes so much sense to me.

God created us body, mind and soul. We are spiritual beings by creation. And so logic says, that just like physical and cognitive development begins in the womb, so does our spiritual growth. And it is just as impacted by our environment and experiences. I guess, in light of new perspectives, I think back to my classes in college and we did talk about spiritual formation a lot and definitely as a human thing, not exclusively as a Christian thing. But I think because I was at a Bible college and I’ve been a Christian for many years, that was my context and I didn’t really think much about it outside of the Christian life at that point.

What Comer is saying when he said that spiritual formation is not a Christian thing, it’s a human thing, is that whether we are “into” spiritual formation or not, whether we believe in God or not, whether we are aware of it and seeking to foster spiritual growth or not, no matter how we go about it, we are being formed spiritually and it impacts how we live. We are constantly changing and being formed by various factors.

Thinking specifically about my journey with therapy, working through things that were traumatic for me… I’m discovering, that those things actually broke my spirit in a way that formed beliefs about myself that are lies, which formed the pathways in my brain that are negative. In a world that is full of sin (my own included) and brokenness, it is complex to process, but I am so grateful, that God also made us to be resilient and we can experience healing, we are able to replace the lies with truth (not just slapping a few trite truthful statements on the lie and expecting to believe the truth, but actually identifying, uprooting the lies and planting the truth and allowing it to take root into our souls) on this side of heaven. Only a taste of what is to come, but it is so sweet!

As I’m processing all of this, my pastor sent a group text to our small group to encourage us and it was exactly what I needed to hear, a few words from a theologian named Charles Spurgeon:

“Looking Unto Jesus”

"It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of His children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: He tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument, it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the Source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on Him; let His death, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to Him; when thou liest down at night look to Him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after Him, and He will never fail thee:

"My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus blood and righteousness:

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus name."

For me, it was just a reminder that I cannot look to myself for healing or to fix the brokenness and pain I face in my reality, there is no hope in looking to myself or anyone else for a solution. My hope has to be in something more than the frailty of humanity, of my humanity. Living out life on earth is a wild thing and I honestly don’t know how I would bear it without looking to Jesus. Every time I start to gaze at myself, or whatever the situation might be, I lose hope and my temptation is to sink into despair. But when I look to Jesus, I have hope. I can breathe. I have peace, because in Him my life is secure, even when the world around me tells me differently. I often forget that and am so grateful when He reminds me.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Well friends, this ended up being longer than intended, I guess I had a lot of thoughts to get out this week and I hope I didn’t butcher John Mark Comer's book, lol! I like audiobooks, but it’s not as easy for me to go back, process and really reflect, like when I have a physical copy. But the things I heard got my thoughts spinning and here we are. Thanks for sticking around if you made it this far <3

Grace and peace to you until next time,

Melissa